“You will never know what true love is until you have your own child.”
How many childless women out there have heard these words or anything along these lines in their lifetime?
I know I have.
I believe there is truth to statements like this; I’ve seen my fair share of mothers soon after they’ve given birth and have seen the way they look at the beautiful new creation in their arms. It’s a look of pure love, connection and devotion that is rarely seen – if at all – in the eyes of anyone else during any other life experience. That instant connection between mother and child is truly indescribable.
Be the Proud Aunt
My aunt always wanted to be a mom. I remember how much time she spent with me while I was growing up. She was buying me presents, she was taking me out, she was playing with me… I couldn’t wish for a better aunt.
But, she wasn’t able to conceive herself. And that was hurting her deeply even if she was trying her best to conceal her pain.
One day, I heard my mom say to me that it is easy for her to be good to me and play with me when she is not stuck changing diapers all the time. But, my aunt had already changed her share of diapers when she was taking care of me when I was a baby. So, her comment was rude and inconsiderate.
“You will never know what a true love is until you have your own child,” people would often say to her. But she knew love. She loved me as her own child. Yet, society judged her and diminished her value only on the premise that she didn’t have children on her own.
Why is this happening?
Why is motherhood considered to be the only source of happiness when in fact, one study on the relation of happiness found that US parents are the least happy relative to non-parents?
Moreover, many studies found that childless aunts have actually made the families happier. When they felt that they are welcome in the family, they were happier, and the parents were happier as well.
This is because when parents get overwhelmed with parenthood and are reaching their limits, aunts are there to support and take care of the children and enrich their lives in a meaningful way.
Yes, they are secondary caregivers, but with their material gifts, and their financial and emotional support, not to mention the positive influence they have on the children while spending quality time with them – it is safe to say that aunts play a primary role in the harmony of the family.
Here are the top reasons why their roles should be acknowledged more instead of being undervalued:
1. They treat your kids as their own
They look at your kids as the children they are not able to conceive.
This will give you peace of mind when you leave your kids to their care. Rest assured, the children will be safe and in good hands.
2. They spoil your kids
Love, kisses, and gifts – name it and your kids will have it.
A study from Weber Shandwick partnered with KRC Research states that PANKs or Professional Aunt No Kids spends an average of $387 on each child.
Additionally, they give financial support when parents cannot or will not do so.
3. They are friends and confidants
When kids don’t feel comfortable sharing with their parents, they turn to their aunts for advice.
They are also good listeners and can offer an objective view of what it is that is bothering your kids.
4. They have a huge influence on your kids
Aunts are women that are often times put on a pedestal by your kids – be it because of their beauty, intellect, attitude or values.
They influence your kids and spoil them more than you think.
5. They are there when you are not
You can either call them substitute parents or second mothers. They give motherly love and guidance at times when you are not around. They are there for your kids when they need them and that is something to be thankful for.
With all these great stuff we can say about our beloved childless aunts, how can our misguided society think less of her?
Her being unable to conceive gives her emotional pain.
Amidst that, her love for your kids is not dimmed by the darkness that’s eating away her dreams of having a child.
Maybe she has superpowers.
So, we should all take time to celebrate aunts as our second mothers!
Sources: curiousmindmagazine.com, ideapod.com, healthy-holistic-living.com